Thursday, January 25, 2007

SWF Seeking...

Reason #243 that I have never found someone to marry. I've never read the London Review of Books Personal Ads.

Here is just a sampling:

I'm just a girl who can't say "no" (or "anaesthetist"). Lisping Rodgers and Hammerstein fan, femaile lecturer in politics (37) would like to meet a man to age 40 for thome enthanted eveningth. Box 2498

Employed in publishing? Me too. Stay the hell away. Man on teh inside seeks woman on teh outside who likes milling around hospitals guessing the illnesses of outpatients. 30-35. box 3287.

Male LRB readers. Drawing little faces on your thumbs, getting them to order meals, then shouting at them for not being able to pay is no way to win a woman. You know who you are. Men to 40 wtih working credit cards, reply to once-bitten, twice-bitten, three-strikes-and-you're-all-out F, 35. Box no. 1379

Don't reply to this ad - its a fake. Just like the man who place it. Deny nothing, regret all, but live to fight another day with phoenoenologically ahamed, melanin-deprived, scion of the patriarchal ruling class. (32, Worcester). Box 7590.

Loaded tax exile Channel Islands resident seeks attractive well preserved soul mate. No objection to modest gold digger age around 25 below 40 a definite advantage. If you smoke it’s the garage. Tel 01481238667

My psychotherapist suggested I place this ad. Woman, 43. Not mental, despite whatever a fear of open spaces, the colour red, the sound of rain, plastic containers, beards, percussionists, birdsong and cornflakes may suggest Box no. 01/03

courtesy of Smithsonian Magazine February 2007.

1 comment:

qlinger said...

These are great. At least they are starting the relationship honestly.