BUT THEY DON'T KNO-OW ANY BETTER

Well, normally I attend the Latin Mass, but I have to admit that I've been a bit run-down lately with the new school year starting, and various other runnings around - so, I decided not to do the 1.5 hour trek to the Latin Mass this morning and to attend our local church instead. Its a nice small rural community and the priest loves Our Lady. There are usually lots of families in Church with little kids and the choir reminds me of the choir in our parish where we grew up. Remember that part in Cinderella where the step-sisters are crooning "sing sweet nightingale"? That's pretty much what it sounds like.

Anyway, as we arrive, there's a crowd of people around the front door, obviously waiting for someone, but they don't look like they're dressed for church - especially since one is holding a Dunkin Donuts cup. Anyway, we enter, find our seats and kneel to prepare to Mass.

Well, the entourage finally enters, led by a pair of soon-to-be-baptized twin boys. Proudly in tow is the Dunkin Donuts toting, sweatpant suit wearing woman we saw outside. Horrified at seeing a Donkin Donuts cup in Church, I decide to go and ask this girl if she'd like me to throw it out for her. My sister tells me that I should probably ask Father first.

So, I did. Father was quite confused, and after asking a few questions, tells me that there are some mentally ill people in the parish, and we'll just let it go. Okay...

Then, the two children in front of us are playing with a pocket watch, and other toys while the mother looks on and occasionally smiles at them. Some people come in after the Offertory, but at least they're not toting Donkin Donuts...

Why this list of notably distracted and unprepared parishioners?

Well, it occurred to me that people act this way in Mass because NO ONE TOLD them that this isn't appropriate. We have a whole generation, namely mine, that were told that its okay to show up to Mass late and still receive; that Christ said "let the children come to Me" which means that children can play and cry and eat and color in Mass; that thinks its great to have your friends arrive at your children's baptism carrying their designer coffee; that formal dress isn't necessary for Mass and roll-out-of-bed styles are just as good.

My question is: WHO IS GOING TO TELL THEM????

You can't really blame them. They'd probably say "at least we're going to Church" and that is precisely the problem - it is the least they can do. The very least.

But Catholics, and Americans, have never been about the "least we can do" - we're about giving our best to God, Country, Family.

And its also occurred to me that this is precisely the source of the deep sigh that you sometimes see priests do, especially when they realize that yes, they are the ones who have to TELL THEM. And, since they haven't been doing it for so long, they have a lot of work to do.

God help our priests.

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Should the Pope apologize for his words?

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Coffee: Nectar of the gods

So, in preparing for a one-minute-or-less meditation for my high school students yesterday, I decided to look up the history of the day's feast - the holy name of Our Lady.

Apparently, Our Lady's intercession was sought when the Turks had occupied Vienna in the 16th century. The Polish King, Sobieski gathered his troops to stop the Muslim invasion into Europe, leaving Poland and first bringing his army to the Shrine of Our Lady of Czestawova. Their prayers were answered on the Feast of the Holy Name of Mary.

In honor of this victory, the people drank the spoils left behind by the Turks, coffee, and the bakers created a crescent shaped pastry (croissants, presumably) in imitation of the crescent moon on the Turkish flag.

I'm seeing that my coffee addiction may actually be a virtue, and not a vice.

What's Really Wrong with Men Today

There has been alot of speculation lately on what ails a healthy Catholic femininity in this contemporary age. I'd like to take a break from this debate to talk about what really irks me about the opposite sex.

1. Why don't men spend their time practicing how to take out the garbage more before marriage? This is clearly a task that has been traditionally relegated to the stronger sex, and I want to know why men so loath this task that they are not properly prepared for it when they enter the married state. I mean, how hard is it to put another bag into the trash can and tie it so that garbage doesn't cause it to slip down the can, hence creating a nasty, stinking garbage can. It wastes time and puts unneeded stress on a marriage that is already wrought with hardships and turmoil.

2. Why can men not gracefully open doors? I was recently crossing the lobby of an office building, when a very gentlemanly looking man noticed my approach to the door. He hastened his step, and stationed himself next to the door to pull it open for me, only to be awkwardly embarrassed to find out that the door opened outward! His embarrasment, and my smirk at trying not to laugh was weird indeed, as he had to push the door open, and plaster his body against the door so that I could go through before he did. Instead of playing sports, getting jobs, saving money and other manly pursuits, men should make themselves apprised at the various ways to open doors for ladies. This would indeed be an imitation of Christ who opened the door to heaven for us.

3. Learn how to shake a hand! My goodness, there's nothing worse than shaking a man's hand, and you feel like you've been given a wet noodle to shake. Enough said on that subject.

4. I am pleased to hear that some men have taken the task of creating the "head of household" and "suggestions welcome" buttons to be used during marriage so that their wife can wordlessly determine whether now is a good time to discuss a major issue with their husband, or if she should passively submit. I am pleased to hear of such creative modes of communication between married persons that cuts out needless words.

5. Learn how to smoke a pipe! For goodness sake, how am I supposed to have your pipe, slippers and smoking jacket prepared when you return home from work if you don't smoke a pipe, or at least a cigar. Seriously, surely your job or other preparations for marriage don't exclude you pursuing some vices that are to be upheld in marriage.

6. While dating, I fully expect that there should be certain obstacle courses, trick questions, and other challenges by which to test my worthiness as a wife. Please, please, please - put some thoughts into these. Some suggestions might include leaving me in the woods overnight with a sewing machine and some knitting needles to see if I can have a sweater knitted and a suit sewn by morning. Asking me how many degrees I have, and how many degrees I wish I didn't have might be another challenge. Since the results will be used to determine whether or not I am able to sacrifice during marriage, these should really be HARD.

These are just a few random thoughts. If there are other suggestions out there, I'm very open to hearing them. If you are a man and responding, be sure to be really harsh so that I can get used to the castigations of my husband should I ever marry.

(Judging from the sarcasm of this post, I think its pretty unlikely)

Pitt Pontificates on Matrimony

Finally, someone who's willing to stand up for his beliefs - and in defense of marriage at that!!

And who is this brave person you may ask? Yes, you guessed it (or maybe you didn't) - Brad Pitt. He has declared that he and Angelina Jolie will not marry until "all Americans are able to wed". And I'm sure that this brave groundbreaker is really suffering for his beliefs. Imagine, being so convinced of the sanctity of marriage that you sacrifice living with your beloved, raising a family together or side by side taking on the challenges of life because you believe that society is not truly valuing the married state.

Oh wait...

But they are living together, and Brad Pitt has adopted Angelina's children, and supposedly they are working side by side handing out food for poor Africans.

So, what are we really getting from the Hollywood crowd? More hot air. No wonder Al Gore is worried about global warming.